The Cloud of Me and Mine
June, 2025
I wake in the morning,
and for a moment,
there is space –
vast, rested, still.
And then – sometimes slowly,
sometimes all at once –
it comes.
A current of consciousness
rushing in,
ready to take over.
Or maybe not.
Maybe it’s just arriving –
and I have a choice:
to grasp it,
or let it pass.
The cloud of me and mine asks:
What am I going to do now?
What’s next?
Who will I talk to?
What messages?
What emails?
It swirls – relentless.
A tightness forms.
A tension.
A hurry.
An urgency that loops and loops –
grasping, digesting, analyzing,
stretching toward answers,
spinning of thoughts.
Busy, busy, busy.
This is the cloud of me and mine.
But I remember:
I have a choice.
When I wake,
there is also just this –
vastness.
No name.
No purpose.
No direction,
no past,
no future.
Just this.
This is who I am,
before I have a name.
I can rest, be, and do
as this ungrasping this.
It is a practice.
A focus.
A returning.
Home.
Charlotte Jigen Juul
I am a Zen priest with a MA in Contemplative Psychotherapy and Buddhist Psychology from Naropa University, Boulder, Colorado, USA and a BA in Psychosynthesis from “The Psychosynthesis and Education Trust” in London. Besides that, I am a certified SE-Practitioner (SEP), in Trauma Psychology, Somatic Experience (SE-practitioner, Peter Levine), I am a certified BigMind Facilitator by Zen Master Genpo Roshi and became an “Ordained Zen priest” in 2018.
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